Red Water – I was deep in homelessness when I shot the Red Water music video. Two months before that, in Salem, Oregon, I woke up covered in my own blood and vomit—delusional, malnourished, completely lost. I had always believed I was wasted talent, and at that point, it felt like proof. One day, after panhandling just to get a beer, I made a decision: I promised myself I would shoot a music video within two months. Within a week, I had saved enough to buy a ukulele. After a month of busking, I had enough to get into a local studio owned by ThatKidCry. I recorded Red Water. Then I asked about a music video. He connected me with someone who could film it just a couple weeks later. We started filming in the exact doorway I had slept in the night before—right in downtown Salem, the place I lived every day. Two weeks later, the video dropped. Exactly two months after I made that promise to myself. And then… I didn’t know what to do next. I had been a homeless addict who worked his ass off to accomplish something real—and then I was right back in the same place. For the next five years, I moved through addiction, instability, and mostly hopelessness. But I held onto that video. Because it proved something to me: I was capable.
What’s Next – “Hammerhead” Now we’re shooting the next music video: Hammerhead. At this point, everything is different. I now have my own record label, Lion in the Lamb Entertainment (LiTLE), and I’ve secured a 16-track deal with legendary underground producer Johnny Slash. This will become my first full album. If you’ve made it through the first two videos and found your way here, you’re starting to see it— I’ve finally found the path that lets me use my creativity to its fullest. This isn’t random anymore. This is being built with intention. I’m building my own piece of music and art culture right here in Eugene. And right now, I’m looking for the core group— the early supporters, the ones who see it before everyone else does. The foundational Yoda MC enthusiasts. If that’s you, follow me. And if you want to be part of something real— reach out and ask to be in the upcoming Hammerhead music video, shooting right after the April 24th Grateful Guinea Project fundraiser. This is just the beginning.
What Came Years After Red Water Five years after Red Water… Countless miles hitchhiking. A few overdoses. Dozens of psych ward visits. Multiple Narcan reversals. More than once, I had to be resuscitated. Eventually, I was introduced to the Oxford House program in Eugene, Oregon. That’s where things started to change. For the first time, I accepted responsibility for my own path. Oxford gave me something I had never truly had before—structure, accountability, and a brotherhood in recovery. And I worked. Out of that work, I built Lion in the Lamb Entertainment (LiTLE)—my record label. The name was inspired by something Dave Chappelle once shared from his mother: “Sometimes you have to be a lion so you can be the lamb you really are.” I spent nearly two years in the C Roman Oxford House before moving into my own apartment. I wasn’t perfect. I relapsed twice. But even that became part of the path. While detoxing at Buckley Detox, I had a realization. I couldn’t stand the idea of going back into the same outpatient programs that never worked for me. They weren’t built for someone like me. Oxford worked because it removed me from everything and forced me to rebuild myself through responsibility and structure. And then it clicked: Taking care of my guinea pigs helped me take care of myself. That was the seed. I created The Grateful Guinea Project because I knew there were others wired like me—people who wouldn’t respond to traditional recovery models, but might respond to responsibility, routine, and caring for something living. Recovery is not one-size-fits-all. So I built something different. In December 2025, I released “Drop a Gem on ’Em”—a song and music video breaking down the foundation of this small-animal-based addiction recovery program we’re now building. This isn’t just music. This isn’t just recovery. This is proof that even from the lowest point— you can build something that saves lives.
Oregon Cruisin’ – The Story Oregon Cruisin’ is a song I wrote and recorded during a relapse—right before I went into detox and eventually came up with the concept for the Grateful Guinea Project. It was inspired by the strange things that start happening when you begin getting your life back on track. I had just formed my LLC, started building my record label, and was putting out positive music and content. But people from my past—back when I was a homeless bottle junkie—started making assumptions. They thought I had money. They thought I had changed into some kind of “perfect,” clean-cut recovery Christian. And some of them tried to use that against me. There were attempts at manipulation… even low-level blackmail. But here’s the truth: If you strip away my sobriety and everything I’m building, I know exactly what I fall back into—booze, cocaine, and crackwhores😂. That reality has never been something anyone could use against me. It’s something I’ve already faced. You can’t blackmail someone with a truth they’ve already owned. I wrote and recorded this track to show to express the "true colors" of Ruggrat
Yoda MC – “Now” (Another track from my upcoming album – dropping this summer)
Gutterfish has no hook—just bars. This was the third song I wrote and recorded after getting into Oxford House. At that point, I just felt like rapping—no structure, no formula—just going for three minutes straight. I focused on building fun, intricate rhyme schemes while weaving in darker, more aggressive undertones. No chorus. No filler. Just pure expression. From this point on, I’ll just be posting videos of my favorite tracks without going into full breakdowns. I appreciate you checking out my music—and I hope you enjoy what you hear.
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